Im Backkkkkk!

Im sure you are wondering were I have been all this time. Turns out the thing with the half-Asian kid went on for quite awhile.  We hit it off pretty well. So well, in fact, that we dated for about 6 months.  I met his parents, we were ‘official’, all the bells and whistles.  Therefore, I didn’t feel like writing about my success was appropriate, considering the purpose of this site.

R, opted to never write again.  His experiences on the online dating scene were a little to discouraging for him.  I’m thinking its not so popular in Evanston, IL.  Point is, its me from now on, deal with it.

Me and the half-Asian kid were serious, you got that.  So why am I here?  Well, as all good things go they end, its when it happens that changes.  So it ended at around the 6 month mark.  What happened? To be completely honest, I really don’t know. The last couple of weeks he got weird, I don’t know if its because he was seeing someone else, or if he didn’t want things to be so serious. Point is, we broke up and now i’m single again.

Hence, my singleness allows me to continue my journey into the world of online dating for your pleasure. Enjoy!

The New Guy and I

I know its been awhile and you are all dying to hear how my first meet up went with half-asian kid.  But finals and assignments have gotten in the way of my life which includes this blog.  The whole plan was that I had to come up with somewhere to go.  I didn’t know if I was going to need an escape plan.  I had never done this kind of thing before so I decided to play it safe and play it by ear, we would do whatever came to our minds.  This would also test this guys spontaneity which I feel is a good quality for someone to possess.

We met at the Boylston St. T stop, I felt like I wanted to see the christmas tree they had lighted the night before.  I was expecting something marvelous, sort of like the ones they have in NYC, but no, it was a really sad looking tree.   When we realized from far away that getting any closer was pointless we decided to walk and find a place to eat and possibly have a beer.

We walked and found ourselves in the Rock Bottom.  At this point I unveiled my sexy shirt. I could see that he liked it by the way he was looking at me.   For your imagination, I was wearing a strapless deep blue Express shirt, that definitely accentuated my features.  I mean my roommate was very helpful in putting the outfit together and I completely trust her judgement.

A little bit about him.  Now that we were sitting face to face, I could evaluate him from up close. (Before we were walking side by side and it made checking him out a lot more difficult)  He is definitely good looking, and there is something about his smile that is very inviting.  If its possible he look even better than the pictures on his profile.  We have the same sense of humor so conversation flowed with ease.  Even random or usually uncommon topics of conversation were brought up and I liked the fact that I could talk about anything with him.

We decided to order food and I was quick to pick a burger.  He was very impressed by the fact that I ordered a burger.  Maybe he doesn’t go out with girls that eat.  After dinner and beers he asked if I wanted to go somewhere else to drink and talk.  I was having an amazing time with him making fun of drunktards and I couldn’t say no, besides he was adorable.  Guess what?  When the check came he insisted to take care of it.  Definitely deal breaker there and he passed.

We proceeded to Lir, a pub on Boylston St. and talked and enjoyed ourselves until 1 am.  And here I was thinking I would have to run and hide after 30 minutes.  Its understandable that I was thinking that way considering the amount of freaks that have approached me in the dating site.  I guess there are nice and good looking singles out there looking for someone unconventionally.

We have conversed and text messaged this week and we have plans to go out tomorrow (Friday), I am still nervous and I cant really help it but I am also excited.  I haven’t found something that I don’t like so far, so only thing left is to get to really know him.

Wish me luck, update to come soon.

-M

P.S  R is discouraged and may not write again, but I am trying to persuade him otherwise.

Today is the day. PS. I am soooo nervous

Hey peeps,

My first date is today.  Yes with half-asian boy.  He asked me very politely and it turns out we do have  a lot of things in common.  It also pleased me to be able to talk to him on the phone, I believe hearing someones voice and liking it is as important as liking anything else about him.  Since I have school and finals coming up, he left it up to me to decide when we should get together.  By association it is also up to me to decide on what to do, since I picked the date.

They lit up the Boston common yesterday with Christmas lights and maybe a walk around the park might be good. Get to know each other, get some sort of vibe from him. Then we can play it by ear and do whatever we feel like doing.  If we feel like doing anything.

I am still very nervous about it though.  A friend of mine in my program actually went to undergrad with him and told me and reinforced my good thoughts about him and that also makes me more excited.

-M

Another decent guy who actually wants to meet!

Hey Guys,

You will be very pleased to hear that the online thing might work out after all.  I had been taking to half-Asian guy for some time and last night we decided to take it up a notch and instant message instead.  Well saying WE decided is an over statement, it was me, all me, but I couldn’t help myself, he was online and I couldn’t resist.  So we talked for quite a bit and as I was signing off, he actually asked me if I would want to meet him sometime.  I can’t imagine how hard it must be to actually ask that.  Anyways, I said yes and hopefully you guys will be getting your first live meeting information through here.

Honestly I don’t know if I will have time to actually meet him before break but it might actually happen if I get my shit together and catch up on my work.

-M

Clueless

More and more I am letting go of the online dating.  Hence why the posts are spread out.  I message guys once in awhile but for some reason I have never met anyone.  Maybe I just don’t want to meet anyone, at least through the web.  I am talking to guys that for some reason don’t push for a meet.  Why is that? All I get is guys messaging me on the site saying how hot I am, and what not.  So if I message you back it sorta means I want to meet, right?

In any case, lets talk about the really juicy information.  You know that last time I had told you guys that me and dream guy had agreed that we were dating.  I honestly believed that everything was going alright.  We talk for awhile every other day and if not we at least text each other to see how we are doing.  I have been trying to be as nice and supportive as possible and always as interesting and intriguing as can be.  I am really trying my best to keep this guys interest but I really am at my wits end.

The last time we saw each other was on Halloween, where we spent day and night together and I met his family.  I had voiced my feelings about how seeing each other so infrequently was upsetting and that although we are both busy and it is difficult to make time to see each other.  Also the fact that he lives in another state is not helping.  Anyways, I proposed the idea that we should see each other for shorter periods of time but more frequently so that a month doesn’t go by when we get the opportunity to see each other.  He actually liked this idea and agreed that too much time had passed without us seeing each other.

I had assumed wrong.  My 21st bday came and went and he couldn’t come down to the bday celebration I had planned with all my close friends.  Even my ex-boyfriend (but still close friend) came, what the hell?  Does that make sense?  I thought he wanted to be a part of my life but then he misses the most important days of it.

Point is, I am the one that pushes and says that we should see each other this weekend or that.  Yeah, maybe I am not as busy because I am not a first year law student, but I am a graduate economics major and thats still pretty time consuming.  This is Thanksgiving week and I have been hoping that I could see him at least for a bit this weekend, I mean come on, its been almost a month.  He said the long wait wouldn’t happen again.  Here I was thinking that everything was going to be alright and that we were going to see each other when I got back from visiting my family but guess again.  I didn’t talk to him yesterday so I messaged him asking how he was and the usual.  Apparently he was doing a final project and couldn’t talk.  He later said that he was in a bad position and that he might not even get the chance to see his family.  Which of course means that if he can’t see his family he definitely cannot see me.

I am fed up with not being able to deal with this. I simply said that I was sorry to hear that he couldn’t see his family and that he shouldn’t be thinking about me anyways.  He should call me after he’s done with finals.  When he does call I am going to have a serious talk with him and let him know that if things are going to be like this I can’t keep falling for him because I am definitely more involved than he.

The End.

-M

Men, men and more men

Its been a couple of days since the last post, but it was 21st bday week so I needed some time to recuperate.  So to the topic at hand.  More on men.  Lets start with dream guy.  You know how I posted on how I was thinking of not going out with him anymore with the whole communication issue we have.  Too busy to talk consistently, cellphones hate each other and every time we talk our cellphones break up and cut off, text messages never get received, great all together.  After I met his parents, we agreed that we were going out and I am optimistic, but there are ups and downs and sometimes I get upset that I get down on the days that I don’t talk to him that much.  I try to not be so emotionally involved but there is a reason that dream guy is dream guy.  Then he couldn’t come for my birthday party.  I am not one to celebrate birthdays but this being my 21st I wanted to make something of it and I invited a group of close friends to mark the occasion.  Most of my friends know about dream guy and I wanted that to be the day that everyone could finally meet him.  But dream guys school didn’t give him Veteran’s day of so he couldn’t make the Tuesday night extravaganza.  Me being the romantic I am expected him to feel guilty and try to make it up to me during the weekend, but nothing of the sort.  I sort of went crazy when had another communication failure, that plus the birthday shit, so we had a talk.  Too much work, so nothing could happen this weekend, apparently I should have said something about wanting to see him.  Hey maybe I want to be surprised.  So we had a little conversation about changing the way we see each other. Instead of seeing each other every month for a day or two we could see each other every other week for a couple of hours.  I hope it works.  Hopefully hell call today.

On another men, Ive been talking to the Italian guy as well, I cant believe I still haven’t met anybody that I’ve been talking to online.  I don’t understand whats going on, shouldn’t they want to meet me.  We talked about meeting for coffee so maybe that will happen soon enough.

This guy I winked at finally responded and apologized for taking so long. Well see how that pans out, hes actually pretty cute, so I’m excited.  Also, started talking to this half-Asian kid who also likes Palahniuk. Lets see how that goes.

Thats it for now, ill keep you in the loop.

-M

 

Dream guy might not be so dreamy.

After my last bad relationship I promised myself that if I went out with anyone else it would be with someone who expressed his feelings for me.  I don’t mean that they need to pour their hearts out every five seconds but someone who can remember the little things.  Little things like calling unexpectedly to see how I am doing, telling me they miss me and wish they could see me.  Someone who wants to share their day and thoughts with me because they want me to know more about them.

I am not that picky, I don’t usually go for the mega hotties, intelligence, wit, sarcasm and the ability to keep a conversation going is more important to me than how ripped your six-pack is.  Now more than ever I want to be picky in the communication department though.  I seem to always go for guys that forget to call, don’t respond to texts and cant seem to open-up and actually talk to me.  I really wanted to get away from that, Im not needy but I need to know someone cares, calling shows you care.

To me its always the little things, you dont have to buy me gifts, you dont have to trek down here from wherever you are, you just have to talk to me.  A five second text message can make or break you.  Yeah, when we are physically together its like we were made for each other, but we are never physically together.  How good those moments feel do not outweigh the other 80% of the time I spend waiting to talk to you, waiting to hear from, just waiting.

You are too absorbed in your things to be able to handle the little things I want. You knew I had a test yesterday, you didn’t wish me luck, you didn’t call me afterwards to see how it went.  Yesterday was a Friday, whatever homework you have for Monday can wait until you make that 5 minute call.  Even though you didn’t call, I texted you, I always try to help you on your way.  Yet when I respond you don’t.  I know you don’t mean to seem disinterested but thats how I see it.

I need more than what you are giving me and I don’t think we could ever get more serious with the way you are.  I don’t think you mean to be this way, you can’t help it, but I promised myself I would try and find someone who was more adept to these things, someone who I didn’t have to force to call me, who would just do them naturally.

Maybe we shouldn’t go out anymore.

Still single and looking…

Hey Guys,

Sorry for being away for so long.  Oh its M btw.  So I spent Halloween weekend with dream guy.  I actually met his family and they were very excited to meet me.  I don’t know if thats a good thing or a bad thing and by bad I mean that dream guy has brought very ugly girls to meet his family and they were really excited to finally see their son interested in a good looking gal.  But those are just my weird curiosities.  I have kept talking to italian guy.  Dream guy hasn’t made anything official so I’m technically still single and looking.  Middle-of-nowhere guy has stopped messaging me, I really cant begin to understand why.  He seemed very insecure and once mentioned the fact that people usually stop talking to him because they are disinterested.  New flash kid, YOU stopped talking first, and you had my number and never called and you never tried to get me to meet you.  I thought the purpose for online dating is to talk for a bit and eventually meet in person to see if you like each other physically, why would I want to keep talking to a guy that doesn’t want to meet me, or is ashamed of meeting me.  So what the hell is up?  People on these sites should be a bit more serious about things, I know some are, in their first message they automatically go for the lets get together line.  They have the right idea, just not with the right timing.

On another note, R is very discouraged, so discouraged he doesn’t feel like he wants to continue trying to find someone online.  So discouraged he doesn’t want to write anymore.  I am trying to cheer him up and maybe a change is strategy is in order for him, maybe OkCupid is not the best place for him to find someone, I am not an expert of the bi/gay dating scene but maybe he should find a site thats more serious, I have a feeling that all the guys looking for guys in the site are all looking for the wrong thing, if you now what I mean.

Maybe some nice comforting words or advice to him might help!

-M

You are out of winks for the day!

What? I am out of winks? How come?  This isn’t fair!

So I was using Okcupid.com and I decided to wink at some guys.  I want to see how many of them wink back or write a message, or whatever I may just write a message later   The thing is that I was winking at guys until once, I decide to wink at this hot guy and the thing tell me: “You are out of winks for today, try again tomorrow” and I just flipped! Come on! I want to wink at Mr. Hottie there! As M says, don’t put the eggs only on one basket.  Well I was trying to orient them to be placed in like 5 or 6, but Okcupid didn’t let me!

Well, let me wait until tomorrow and see if any of the guys respond later in the day.  There is this one that looks at my profile in like a daily basis and he is really cute, so I winked, maybe later tomorrow when I am a little more capable of thinking, I will write him a message and let him know of my coming visit to Beantown.

This is all for today folks!

-R

Dont put all your eggs in one basket

Guys what’s wrong with this picture.  I thought that my search was supposed to be so I can finally settle down.  Now all I am doing, is IMing 3 guys, and seeing 2 guys from the real world.  Jesus christ, I can’t keep names, facts, straight.  This is extremely difficult.  A good girlfriend of mine once told me that I couldn’t put all my money on one guy.  I guess its like planting seeds in different pots and watering all of them.  Lets see which one ends of actually growing.

As you read, there are two guys that I am sort of seeing that I met in the real world.  Surprise, surprise.  I am pretty good looking, I don’t really need to find dates online, but I am trying to find the right person, that I can’t seem to find in the ‘real world’.

A little bit about the real word guys.  One of the guys I met in undergrad, and we recently developed feelings for each other but he doesn’t live in Boston anymore.  So we see each other on an off, I wish it could be more serious but the circumstances don’t permit it.  Ill save a little water for him, but I’m sure its not going to sprout into a full blown plant anytime soon.  The other guy I met in a bar, classy.  He’s the friend of a friend and I didn’t like him until about the second time I saw him, I don’t know how I feel about him yet, but he asked me out to get coffee and I couldn’t say no.  As long as he doesn’t ask me to watch a movie at his place I’m fine, right? Hooray for half a dozen eggs.

-M